I am in the midst of my own thunderstorm the past few years. It started around 2005 when several projects I was working on where canceled or re-organized leaving me without work unexpectedly. The timing was always terrible and it all seems to be the worst time of my life at the time. Now reflecting on the past, I hear quotes that make me rethink my position on those events.

It turned out that getting fired by Apple was the best thing that could ever have happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life. Steve Jobs.

So after a series of disappointing outcomes, and countless hours/weeks/months of a pursuit of something I can be proud of, in 2010 I started working at Comcast in Philadelphia PA and immediately was thrown into the frying pan to make things work. This has been the most autonomous project I have had the privilege of working on to date. It has allowed me to understand what is possible, and what I will expect in the future and I don’t think I can ever go backwards from that.

One thing that has plagued me for my entire life is feeling I am not smart enough, and not “Good Enough” in an industry surrounded by intelligent humans everywhere. But a simple quote really has changed the way I think about my own daemons of not being good enough:

Life can be much broader once you discover one simple fact: Everything around you that you call life was made up by people that were no smarter than you and you can change it, you can influence it, you can build your own things that other people can use. Once you learn that, you’ll never be the same again. Steve Jobs…

This does not conquer my daemons, but it does allow me to look them in the eye and feel more confident in battling them.

In the past year, many things have happened that are finally changing my life. I started writing my first book for Packt Publishing last January about advanced JavaEE recipes. I began teaching more advanced software classes including an new partnership with VM ware/Springsource directly. This is an exciting time for me and I have been working 7 days a week countless hours per day and anyone who has been around me has seen my drive moving at “Mick Pace: Stop or Fast-Forward”. But then again everyone questions my drive and momentum and I have had several different friends send me this link http://addicted2success.com/success-advice/the-top-5-regrets-in-life-by-those-about-to-die/ Which talks about regrets based on success and drive and what you will regret. I again have another quote from Steve Jobs about this drive and I feel I contest the previous link because I do not have any regrets:

Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. I’m convinced that the only thing that kept me going was that I loved what I did. Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. Don’t settle [for less]. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it. Steve Jobs

If I died today, I would not have any regrets, and I do not! I do wish I had more time in life as  I feel I have more to offer the world, and I will continue to pour out my panache, drive, charisma into the world as long as I can.

Pbs has a great documentary called “One Last Thing” about Steve Jobs: http://www.pbs.org/programs/steve-jobs-one-last-thing/

This blog was written as I am taking a break from Chapter 07 my JavaEE cookbook. I just needed to clear my head and felt open expression of this snapshot is worth documenting.

Go, Go, Go… [bulldog]

Mick Knutson

Java, JavaEE, J2EE, WebLogic, WebSphere, JBoss, Tomcat, Oracle, Spring, Maven, Architecture, Design, Mentoring, Instructor and Agile Consulting. http://www.baselogic.com/blog/resume

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